The great Sioux Nation

The buffalo spirit pumps through my veins; hard and sensual. My pelt is mocha brown and radiates of erotic pheromones which bring the white man to his knees. Horns erect as the sexual organs of desert ocotillo. Hooves blast the open plains perfectly in sync with Zeus throwing lightning bolts. My rumen full of organic bison grass, completing the circle of life as I excrement steamy nutrient dense manure where ever I please.


I am not Apache! I am an assimilated Lakota Sioux.




Hallucinatory tea and out of body experience provided by Mark White Eagle, Shoshone Shaman at the Fort Davis Rock Shop.

Dubai Training Camp

Every year around this time we return to our beach cottage at the United Arab Emirates state of Dubai. Here our mission is to revisit some often neglected fundamentals of training such as sun bathing, fishing, and night clubs. However, since Katiki is competing in Ironman Hawii 2010 we felt it was proper to step it up a notch. To help guide us through our 3 day camp, Tiki managed to pick up a second hand sweat stained little book known as Bicycling's Fitness Training Manual printed in 1988 (1000X better than the generic lie filled anti-Christ trash known as the Cyclist's Training Bible).


Katiki focused primarily on toning her gluteus maximus while working on improving her fast twitch muscle fiber recruitment. Obvious choice would be Split Jumps.


Tiki's obvious choice for workout and rational for selecting follows:


The amateur in the book demonstrates:


Now Tiki illustrates perfect form as he turns sand into gold medals:



Additional muscle shredding exercise followed and was documented for the sole purpose of intimidating any potential competitors who monitor this blog. Are you sure you want to sign up to race against with these two avatars? Maybe you can blame getting dropped on "being sick", we love hearing that time tested cyclist excuse.



Should have warned you... these images will probably defiantly cause nightmares or at least post traumatic stress syndrome for most competitors. Here is a soothing shot to ease the tension.



Lovers, doing what we do best... loving. I love her!

The wolves

After diligently reading The Monks of New Skete’s Art of Raising a Puppy, Lakota is well on her way to becoming a world class utility dog. At only a supple 8 weeks of age she shows serious potential of becoming the next White Fang. Utilizing the cruelty of nature, Tiki has become phenomenal at dog scruffing. Instinctively, Lakota has identified Tiki as her wild alpha patriarch and Katie as her big sister. So far Lakota is well on her way to providing Team Wooly Mammoth with stunning neutral feed zone support. She has the ability to run up to 30 mph with 3 bottles of H2O mounted under her mane similar to a Saint Bernard. It is our belief that by Fayetville she will be able to match the TWM speeds of over 40 mph. She has additionally learned how to liberally apply embrocation to her masters.

Lakota Sioux sleeps with her big sister Katiki after a long session of butt sniff

In other important matters it has come to my attention that Katiki is stronger than she has ever been in her life. Similar to a pubescent female filling out her training bra, Katiki’s legs are developing to a STUNNING form that professional body builders rarely successfully reach without the use of super illicit drugs. The sensual pair of quads and calfs have recently been complimented with her use of Craft winter booties and hot pink romance socks. Scientists are hotly debating the leading two theories regarding Katie’s incredible set of pistons. They are as follows…

Dr. Griz’s Theory of Second Hand Muscle Milk Exposure-
This discourse is based on the premise that Tiki has recently been hitting Muscle Milk protein shakes incredibly hard. This would predispose Katiki to possible secondary consumption via the transfer of bodily fluids such as saliva. It is no secret that both Katie and Taylor have been using Muscle Milk in large quantities for its undocumented aphrodisiac effects, so one might conclude that during their 5-6 hour mating rituals Katie could indirectly consume large volumes of quad busting protein.

Dr. Tiki’s Theory of Pheromones and Testosterone Manipulation
Here, I rely on the fact that when a large group of women live together (such as in a sorority house) they often biologically sync their menstrual cycles. Similar co-habitation between Tiki and Katiki could be stimulating increased natural levels of testosterone in Katie. After recent blood work, it has been determined that my testosterone levels are indeed off the charts, so there is validity in the proposal. To better understand this theory, I am currently conducting a sister research study regarding Pheromones and Estrogen Manipulation. Similar to my first proposal, if Katie is indeed boosting levels of male sex hormones via close proximity to her man, then likewise it is not unreasonable to suggest that my own estrogen levels are controversially high. This could explain my recent motherly instinct for little Lakota Sioux, preference for female deodorant and gynecomastia.

Katie pictured shortly before breaking her spokes

Introducing Lakota Sioux Pemican Princess

Taylor received an early Christmas present yesterday.... a new chocolate princess lover. Hence the name, Lakota, Native (Sioux) for "Love". After one long night of three pee pees and her first "alone time" followed by yelps and hollars, she is finally settling in.

The peoples history...

December 18, 1916:
The Battle of Verdun ends in World War I

December 18, 1865:
Slavery is abolished in the United States, with the passing of the 13th Amendment

December 18, 2009:
Original members of At All Cost play final Austin TX show ever at Red 7, breakdowns so heavy that hill country is flattened

December 19, 1974:
The Altair 8800, the first personal computer, goes on sale

December 19, 1732:
Benjamin Franklin publishes Poor Richard's Almanack

December 19, 2009:
At All Cost is fucking dead, the day music stopped, speechless...

December 20, 2009:
After final shows, the metal gods of dismembered At All Cost are treated for severe spinal cord injuries resulting from perfectly sync circle banging

Death to distraction. Original members. Circle pits. What is left to inspire. Nazi hunting. Skip to my lou. Katie posi-stomping with a huge "X" on each hand. An epic finale to a life changing youth movement that degreased the Bush/Cheney propaganda machine. So dear to my heart.

Base mile anthem

This morning Katie and I slept in until 6:30 am, which is a very rare and special treat. Unlike other special mornings, today was extra memorable because while I was still in bed (6:32 am), Katie had already turned on the computer (to presumably check her fan email), however to certain shock, I realized she was actually watching the following provacative video at maximal volume. Was it all a dewy dream? No, for Katie had gone gaga for lady gaga. At first I was very skeptical and nearly closed my eyes to return to the deepest layers of REM (Poker face? Lame). However, I quickly realized this video has it all... super fine euro fashion, electronic breakdowns, girl time, syncopated zombie dance moves, steaming hotness, a polar bear and other exotic animals, dudes night out, and fake blood diamonds. Its all so perfect and reminds me how much I have to be thankful for this thanksgiving eve. I feel this song and video are patriotic and should probably replace the national anthem, because this is all so very American. Bet you cant watch it only once.

Weekend Training Camp

While most mortals spend the month of November clocking boringly slow base miles, we immortals are peaking year round. Katie and I spent the weekend on a little romantic training camp in Fort Worth, TX. The goal was to focus on all things related to the cherished "race of no excuses" (time trialing). We spent the day sprinting on the track at the Texas Motor Speedway and then flew to Hotel Indigo in San Antonio for the night. Our incredibly high speeds not only enhanced the size of our quads, but also our egos which caused our heads to swell, making it impossible to remove certain parts of our aerodynamic equipment.


Luckily there were professional photographers out on the track to document Taylor claiming victory against the NASCAR Mazda Proteges. Here is Katie reviewing final seconds of the time trial. The photographer had to use a shutter speed of 1/1,000,000 to catch Taylor's speed.


Taylor's body was so tired after his efforts that he called upon the cows of the confined animal feeding operations in Fort Worth to help expedite recovery. The cows volunteered their own corn feed diets and copious amount of antibiotics to replenish both mind and body. Katie insisted on bringing her favorite blanket to the hotel for good luck.


Oh, and here is Taylor watching his favorite movie, Harry Potter and the Flying Saucers. Katie also insisted on bringing her favorite rug to the hotel so her bike felt "at home" in a foreign location.


Although the hotel's Styrofoam cereal bowls often satisfy mortals, the gods see them as mere appetizers soon followed by copious entrees of bacon, sausage, and franks with turkey.



The couple was surprised to have both hot water and mold free showering facilities. This led to less time mingling with fish frogs in the hotel's hot tub and more time draining the Edwards Aquifer. It only took 25 minutes for Taylor to figure out how to make the "hot" water come out. Next, Katie set a record time for shaving her legs. She clocked in at 30 minutes to smooth her right quad (so muscular that it typically dulls even the Gillette Mach 3 razor blade within a couple strokes).