After diligently reading The Monks of New Skete’s Art of Raising a Puppy, Lakota is well on her way to becoming a world class utility dog. At only a supple 8 weeks of age she shows serious potential of becoming the next White Fang. Utilizing the cruelty of nature, Tiki has become phenomenal at dog scruffing. Instinctively, Lakota has identified Tiki as her wild alpha patriarch and Katie as her big sister. So far Lakota is well on her way to providing Team Wooly Mammoth with stunning neutral feed zone support. She has the ability to run up to 30 mph with 3 bottles of H2O mounted under her mane similar to a Saint Bernard. It is our belief that by Fayetville she will be able to match the TWM speeds of over 40 mph. She has additionally learned how to liberally apply embrocation to her masters.
Lakota Sioux sleeps with her big sister Katiki after a long session of butt sniff
In other important matters it has come to my attention that Katiki is stronger than she has ever been in her life. Similar to a pubescent female filling out her training bra, Katiki’s legs are developing to a STUNNING form that professional body builders rarely successfully reach without the use of super illicit drugs. The sensual pair of quads and calfs have recently been complimented with her use of Craft winter booties and hot pink romance socks. Scientists are hotly debating the leading two theories regarding Katie’s incredible set of pistons. They are as follows…
Dr. Griz’s Theory of Second Hand Muscle Milk Exposure-
This discourse is based on the premise that Tiki has recently been hitting Muscle Milk protein shakes incredibly hard. This would predispose Katiki to possible secondary consumption via the transfer of bodily fluids such as saliva. It is no secret that both Katie and Taylor have been using Muscle Milk in large quantities for its undocumented aphrodisiac effects, so one might conclude that during their 5-6 hour mating rituals Katie could indirectly consume large volumes of quad busting protein.
Dr. Tiki’s Theory of Pheromones and Testosterone Manipulation
Here, I rely on the fact that when a large group of women live together (such as in a sorority house) they often biologically sync their menstrual cycles. Similar co-habitation between Tiki and Katiki could be stimulating increased natural levels of testosterone in Katie. After recent blood work, it has been determined that my testosterone levels are indeed off the charts, so there is validity in the proposal. To better understand this theory, I am currently conducting a sister research study regarding Pheromones and Estrogen Manipulation. Similar to my first proposal, if Katie is indeed boosting levels of male sex hormones via close proximity to her man, then likewise it is not unreasonable to suggest that my own estrogen levels are controversially high. This could explain my recent motherly instinct for little Lakota Sioux, preference for female deodorant and gynecomastia.
Katie pictured shortly before breaking her spokes
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